Psychologists tell us that one who has not received love as a child cannot give love as an adult. The application in our churches is this: Babes in Christ who have not seen love demonstrated in daily actions by older Christians have great hesitancy in expressing or demonstrating their love to fellow Christians. Too many churches have found themselves in this repetitious, devastating cycle. Any physical or emotional expression of love is considered taboo by some. Since the leadership in so many churches is undemonstrative, new Christians in these local congregations are likely going to be equally undemonstrative. This unfortunate and unscriptural cycle can be --and must be -- broken.

The key question, then, is this: How can a church aevelop a loving atmosphere that will foster Friendship Evangelism?

First, begin where you are. Even now, as you read this magazine, you are being given a responsibility to do something positive. God expects you to do something great! You can be a spark plug in your congregation. Ask God to give you drive, yet patience; enthusiasm, yet wisdom; power, yet tenderness. Begin now to kindle or rekindle caring, friendly, loving relationships with your Christian and non-Christian friends.

Second, alert the leadership. Help them to see your need for love, their responsibility to cultivate love and your joint negligence in providing a loving outreach in years past. in a special Men's Devotional, you might center several hours of discussion and prayer on John 13:34-35. Or you might suggest a weekend retreat using this scripture and the material presented in this issue as a starting point. Dare to dream about the kind of church you want, and then lovingly share that dream with key leaders in the privacy of your home. We must alert our leaders of the pressing need for action.

Third, learn to love the unlovely. It is not pleasant to be around sinners. The smell of their cigarette smoke even as they prepare your dinner; the low-cut halter tops even as you talk about salvation; the poorly disciplined children who wreck the den while you study Scripture with their parents in the dining room; the self-centeredness that dominates their conversations -- all these things make it difficult to love the lost.

Yet, Jesus did. He came to minister to the troubled, the impure, the seff-centered and the sinful. Of course He was troubled by their sinfulness, even as you and I are today. Yet Jesus had the soul-winner's ability of being able to see beyond who they were to whom they could be.

Because of supreme love, Jesus could touch the leper, sit side by side with a prostitute and eat with a tax-gatherer. if we share His love, we will be able to touch the distraught divorcee, sit with a homosexual and eat with the drug user. We imitate Christ when we love these who are difficult to love. Loving the unlovely is one of the greatest challenges of Friendship Evangelism.

Fourth, display your love. So many of our churches have fallen into bad habits. in our efforts to avoid emotionalism and pentecostalism, we have forgotten to demonstrate love. Understandably, this happened by way of reaction to the charismatic movement that has swept our nation in the last 15-20 years.

It's refreshing to see men who can share more than a firm handshake. They can share a warm embrace, a "holy kiss", and can even say "I love you" to another Christian brother. Friendship Evangelism works best when an entire congregation can relate to each other on this level-in spite of our differences. Love does still "cover a multitude of sins," doesn't it?

This display of love can also be made in more discreet ways. Remembering someone's name, inviting them into my home, or even inviting myself into their home, are all non-verbal ways to say, "I love you." Having said all of this let me conclude by admitting to you that Friendship Evangelism may not work in every congregation. It will not work unless love abounds in your fellowship. in too many congregations there is a critical shortage of genuine Christian love. Congregations are too often known for their adherence to the letter of the law, rather than our love for each other, our concern for troubled individuals and our evangelistic fervor. But as you begin where your are, develop a loving leadership, learn to love the unlovely, and learn to display your love, Friendship Evangelism will work in your congregation!